


At Least It's Not Decaf

by Littlelambred



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, besides that it's canon AU, in that it takes place in a coffee shop, sort of a coffee shop AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-17
Updated: 2014-05-17
Packaged: 2018-01-25 12:11:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1648178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littlelambred/pseuds/Littlelambred
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're in a coffee shop for less than thirty minutes and Skye is already insinuating oral sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	At Least It's Not Decaf

**Author's Note:**

> This started out really angsty because I was listening to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Mxcz3kyYGM) cover of Do I Wanna Know by VSQ and when I got up to brush my teeth I forgot to take off my lipstick and smeared it all over my tooth brush.
> 
> It's impossible to continue something seriously when all you can think of is Skye staring Ward directly in the eye and making dirty jokes.

They’re waiting to receive orders from Coulson, so Skye decided to pass time by dragging Ward into a coffee shop. There were two other people in the coffee shop, a woman and a man.

 

The man behind the counter raised his eyes slightly to assess Skye and Ward. He seemed to like what he saw, because he dragged himself up from the counter and smiled at Skye. Ward was forgotten.

 

“What can I get for you?” The barista directed the question towards Skye. Ward answered:

 

“We’re just browsing, thanks.” The barista gave Ward a look full of contempt but kept his smile plastered across his face.

 

“Well, if you need _anything_ ,” He said to Skye in a syrupy voice, “my name’s Jared.”

 

“Thanks.” Ward steered Skye to one of the far tables next to the door. It wasn’t the best vantage point, but the glass wall meant that Ward could at least see if anyone were to try and block traffic or enter through the front door.

 

“He was cute.” Skye said idly. Ward bit the inside of his lip, an old habit he had yet to break, and kept his eyes glued to the streets. Out of the corner of his eye, Ward saw Skye get up from her seat and make her way to the counter. He followed her with his eyes up until she reached the display case.

 

When she returned, she threw a cookie in his lap. “Do you eat anything besides eggs and protein shakes?”

 

“Do you eat anything besides ramen and chocolate milkshakes?” He countered. She laughed at him.

 

“You’re forgetting the Lucky Charms.”

 

“But only the marshmallows.” He sighed. Skye giggled again and carefully popped the lid off of her hot chocolate. Ward could feel his blood-sugar rising just from the sight of her drink; the thing was smothered in whipped cream and chocolate sauce.

 

Skye dipped her index finger into the whipped cream and then sucked it between her lips. Ward raised an eyebrow; Skye made a show of hollowing out her cheeks. When she was done, she pulled her finger out of her mouth with a loud pop. She licked her lips for good measure and Ward looked away and tried to ground himself.

 

He could practically feel Skye smirking triumphantly.

 

“How much longer do you think we’ll have to wait until Coulson lets us know where the perp is?” Skye asked between sips of her hot chocolate. There was a dot of whipped cream on the tip of her nose. She didn’t seem to notice.

 

“Did you just use the term, ‘perp’?” Ward reached out as swiped it off her nose. Skye snuffled and made a face.

 

“Thanks _mom_. Are you going to spit on a napkin and rub my face with it now?” She rubbed the back of her hand over her nose. “And yeah, isn’t that something people say?”

 

“Don’t ever say ‘perp’ again.” He deadpanned. She slurped the whipped cream off her hot chocolate loudly but dropped the subject. She focused on one of the other customers: a woman their age with dark brown skin and wiry black hair. Her lips were painted red and in the corner of each of her eyes there was a smudge of gold. She glanced over at the two of them periodically.

 

“She’s interested in you.” Skye broke their silence. Ward sighed heavily and turned away from the window to look at her. The woman glanced over at them and, upon realising she’d been caught, almost dropped her coffee while rushing to seem occupied. “You should go talk to her.”

 

“No.” Ward said. Skye groaned dramatically. Ward shushed her; the barista looked over at them with narrowed eyes – more specifically, he glared at Grant.

 

“Look, either you go over there and talk to her or I leave and go stand outside to give her the chance to sidle up.”

 

“Maybe she just wants to enjoy her book, Skye.” The woman hadn’t changed the page she’d been on for five minutes. Anyone with half a brain could tell that she wasn’t even remotely interested in the harlequin in her well-manicured hands.

 

“Look at her lipstick, Ward.” _What the hell did that have to do with anything?_ “When I wear lipstick like that, it means that tonight, I’m getting lipstick all over your dick.”

 

Grant snorted, surprised by her vulgarity. Skye smirked at him; both the barista and the woman looked over at them.

 

“It’s the truth!” Skye tilted her head backwards and downed the dregs of her drink. Ward looked at the cookie in his lap and decided that, if they were going to be there for a while, he may as well enjoy himself. He tore the cellophane wrapper off and snapped the cookie in half to offer the other piece to Skye. She accepted it gladly.

 

“Oh, yuck!” Ward coughed and swallowed the piece of cookie in his mouth. He inspected the wrapper and cringed. “What the hell is a ‘raisin gingersnap’ and why was it invented?”

 

“I don’t know.” Skye’s face was twisted in disgust. “Not gonna lie, I didn’t read the package. I thought those were chocolate chips.”

 

“Gross.” Ward stood up to throw away the remains of their cookie. When he reached the garbage can, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He cast a quick glance over his shoulder to check up on Skye. She was idly playing with her phone, twirling it between her hands and checking the time. He figured that the odds of her being in imminent danger were low and ducked out onto the street to take the call.

 

“Hello?” Coulson’s voice greeted him.

 

“I’m sending you a picture of the suspect right now.” Coulson said. “His name is Jared Kingsley.”

 

“How dangerous is he?”

 

“Not at all. We just need to ask him a couple of questions concerning some threats he’s posted online.”

 

“We’re dealing with cyberbullying now, sir?” Ward internally pounded his head against a brick wall. “Some threats on a Reddit forum don’t really seem worth our time.”

 

“Still, it never hurts to be careful, right?” There was no room for negotiation. “Find him and bring him in. I’ll see you then.”

 

The line went dead. Ward groaned to the sky, took a deep breath, and then reentered the coffee shop.

 

His phone beeped to alert him that he’d received a new message. He opened it with a swipe of his fingers. The image on the screen was the spitting image of the barista – the same barista who was currently sidling up to Skye. Ward did a double-take. The barista didn’t look up when Ward approached, but Skye did. Ward waved his phone at her; she saw the picture and smirked.

 

Ward stepped up behind the barista and cleared his throat. The barista, Jared, raised his eyes slowly. Ward looked down at him and huffed a sigh.

 

“Jared Kingsley?” He asked. The barista raised an eyebrow, which Ward assumed was supposed to be intimidating. Ward bit the inside of his lip.

 

“What’s it to you?” The barista said. Ward (dramatically, for effect, although he’d never admit it) pulled out his badge.

 

“We’ve got a few questions we need you to answer.”

 

It took the barista a few moments to realise what Ward was implying. When he did, he leapt up from the chair beside Skye’s and ran full-force into Ward. It was almost as if he’d run straight into a brick wall; Ward stumbled just slightly, but the barista tumbled backwards. He scrambled to escape, but Grant scooped him up and slammed him into the tabletop behind him. He quickly handcuffed the barista’s hands together, hauled him to his feet, and sat him down in the chair where Ward had been sitting.

 

“That was hot.” Skye said. The woman in the corner stared at them with wide eyes and said, “Ditto.”

 

“Call Coulson and tell him where we are.” Grant rolled his eyes at the barista’s valiant (but weak) attempts to escape. “By the way, even though coming here was your idea, it still doesn’t make up for that disaster of a cookie.”

 

“Fuck you, Ward.” Skye laughed. She pointed a finger at him and jabbed his shoulder. “I’m totally getting lipstick all over your dick tonight.”

 

Ward laughed and shoved the barista out the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Come cry with me on [ tumblr](http://actually-grantward.tumblr.com/)


End file.
